Klare's Stay in the NICU (Sept 14-20, 2016) --- 9/15/16

Dear Gage, Gabe, and Grant,

9/15/16

I had trouble sleeping and since I was trying to pump every three hours around the clock, I found myself awake in the wee hours of the morning. I went down close to 4 in the morning to see my baby girl and she was awake and active. She was a little fussy, but just seeing her act like a typical newborn was assuring.

Later that morning, the day Miss Klare was supposed to be born, your Aunt Beth came up to visit. We went down to the NICU to see Klare and the nurses were just about to give her a try on a bottle. Since she had been on a feeding tube, she hadn't taken any food by mouth. I had been pumping every three hours since the moment I was able, so I had a little colostrum to give her. It wasn't enough to amount to a full feeding, so the rest was formula. I was able to feed her her first bottle and it was an amazing experience! She latched onto the bottle so well and drank like a champ! I was so excited to see so much improvement in her status and I was all smiles. She was scheduled to eat every three hours so I made it a point to go down and feed her every feeding. It was a routine - check temperature, change diaper, feed her breast milk and then give her a bottle. We still weren't able to hold her, so we did the best we could. Just wrapping my hands around her enough to elevate her for feeds gave me so much joy, but I longed to hold and cuddle my baby girl.

Snoozing away after her first bottle

Feeding her colostrum at her 3pm feeding

We put the small amount of colostrum that I was able to pump in the nipple of her bottles

 

That night, when we went down for her 9 pm feeding, the nurses gave us the green light to hold our baby girl! I was so excited and so nervous at the same time. It felt like I had never held a newborn before in my life. She just seemed so fragile and delicate. I was overcome with tears of joy as I held her close to my chest. I was holding my baby girl! My Princess! My little Fighter! I soaked it up and loved every second. I attempted to breast feed, but she was so sleepy and wouldn't wake up to feed. Instead, I just held her skin to skin for over an hour. Loving every precious moment.

 

 

 

 

That night, we were feeling so optimistic! She was drinking from a bottle, we were able to hold her, and she had improved so much! The neonatologist on duty, a different doctor from her admiting physician, had decreased her oxygen and was flirting with the idea of a possible discharge on Saturday. We went to bed that night hopeful and encouraged.

I love you,
Mommy

Klare's Stay in the NICU (Sept 14-20, 2016) --- 9/14/16

Dear Gage, Gabe and Grant,

9/14/16

This was by far the scariest and most painful day of my life. We welcomed your baby sister at 1:35am that morning and we were left with a lot of uncertainty. We weren't sure if she'd suffered any damage due to the trauma of her birth or even if she'd be alive in the following days. The doctor was taking precautions to protect her brain by using the cooling cap and because she wasn't breathing on her own when she was born, she had a tube down her throat attached to a machine to breathe for her. Daddy and Dows had been able to see her shortly after she went into the NICU, prior to the cooling cap. I was asleep when she was born, so I didn't get to see her until nearly 4:30 in the morning. She was already hooked up to what seemed like a hundred wires and she had the cap on her head. It was not the way I pictured seeing my baby girl for the first time, but I did admire how perfect and beautiful she was underneath all the tubes and wires.

Dows took some pictures before the cooling cap and some of the wires.

I visited with Klare for a little while but I was still very groggy from the surgery and the pain medicine, so I went back to my recovery room to rest. I wasn't able to sleep much because I was so worried about my sweet Klare. I rotated between praying and worrying and praying some more. I wasn't able to nurse her yet, so I requested a breast pump. I started pumping as soon as I could and tried to pump every 2 to 3 hours or so. It was the least I could do for my baby girl, especially since I couldn't nurse her at the time.

After 7 or so, I called Sissy and Poppa and told them what happened. Around 10, I was moved to my regular postpartum room. Daddy was able to visit Klare much more easily than I was since I was still hooked up to an IV and a catheter. He was able to keep me up to date with her progress. The first bit of good news came a little after I was moved to my postpartum room - she was taken off the ventilator and was breathing on her own! I went down to visit her soon after and got to touch her and talk to her. We weren't able to hold her yet, but we rubbed and loved on her the best we could. She looked so much better without the tube down her throat and I was starting to feel a bit optimistic.

I visited her off and on throughout the day. It was a bit of a struggle to go down to visit, but I made a point to do it as often as I was able. Pa came up to visit that morning and he was able to go see Klare. I wrote a note for you Gage, to be checked out of school early, so you all could come visit. You all came up that afternoon around 1:30 and it was so great to see you all! Since Klare was in the NICU, you all weren't able to go visit her, but Granny was able to visit with our pretty princess for a little while.

Klare improved throughout the day. She was still on supplemental oxygen and a feeding tube, but she was looking so much better and resting well.

I love you,
Mommy