Dear Gage, Gabe, and Grant,
9/15/16
I had trouble sleeping and since I was trying to pump every three hours around the clock, I found myself awake in the wee hours of the morning. I went down close to 4 in the morning to see my baby girl and she was awake and active. She was a little fussy, but just seeing her act like a typical newborn was assuring.
Later that morning, the day Miss Klare was supposed to be born, your Aunt Beth came up to visit. We went down to the NICU to see Klare and the nurses were just about to give her a try on a bottle. Since she had been on a feeding tube, she hadn't taken any food by mouth. I had been pumping every three hours since the moment I was able, so I had a little colostrum to give her. It wasn't enough to amount to a full feeding, so the rest was formula. I was able to feed her her first bottle and it was an amazing experience! She latched onto the bottle so well and drank like a champ! I was so excited to see so much improvement in her status and I was all smiles. She was scheduled to eat every three hours so I made it a point to go down and feed her every feeding. It was a routine - check temperature, change diaper, feed her breast milk and then give her a bottle. We still weren't able to hold her, so we did the best we could. Just wrapping my hands around her enough to elevate her for feeds gave me so much joy, but I longed to hold and cuddle my baby girl.
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| Snoozing away after her first bottle |
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| Feeding her colostrum at her 3pm feeding |
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| We put the small amount of colostrum that I was able to pump in the nipple of her bottles |
That night, when we went down for her 9 pm feeding, the nurses gave us the green light to hold our baby girl! I was so excited and so nervous at the same time. It felt like I had never held a newborn before in my life. She just seemed so fragile and delicate. I was overcome with tears of joy as I held her close to my chest. I was holding my baby girl! My Princess! My little Fighter! I soaked it up and loved every second. I attempted to breast feed, but she was so sleepy and wouldn't wake up to feed. Instead, I just held her skin to skin for over an hour. Loving every precious moment.
That night, we were feeling so optimistic! She was drinking from a bottle, we were able to hold her, and she had improved so much! The neonatologist on duty, a different doctor from her admiting physician, had decreased her oxygen and was flirting with the idea of a possible discharge on Saturday. We went to bed that night hopeful and encouraged.
I love you,
Mommy
